Dear You,

I haven't been blogging for a while. And once I do, I'm usually very bothered. I miss you so fucking much. I've spent all my free time thinking of you, and how badly I want you to be in my arms. I'm sorry if I've let you down by doing things that might have hurt you badly. I would do anything to have you back by my side. My heart is pounding as I am writing this. I have so many things I want to say to you. A million thoughts inside my little mind... They're constantly knocking on the walls of my heart, wanting to break free. I want to see you and tell you everything that has been going on in my mind. I've never wanted somebody so much in my life, it actually really hurts. It really really really hurts. I know you feel the same way but I don't understand why you're defying fate. Why are you denying my entrance? I know you're afraid but I promised you that I will always be there to catch you when you fall and I always will. Come back and let me love you.

I can live without you definitely. I know I can.

I didn't ask for any of this to happen.. But they just do. Why am I doing this to myself? Constantly feeling sad and stupid over someone. What have I done to myself? I'm going crazy. And I want this to stop.

It doesn't matter anymore.

The hardest part would probably be understanding me. I wish I could just take out everything from my mind and then play it out for you all. Its just so hard for me to explain. I think I will never find someone who's really really so 'me' but I hope that one day I will.

Falling in love is probably one of the worst things in life. Hearts get broken all the time. I've never wanted to..... But oh well, this is what love do to people.

Well.. Funny how it took me 17 fucking years to realize how scary the real world is. How truly fucking scary it really is.

Constantly feeling depressed over people who expect too much out of me and then ended up getting hurt. At the end of the day, the fault will always be on me. I hate it.

Sorry but if I don't like you, I really don't. You just have to stop trying... I mean it. Sometimes, I feel that things are always one-sided. omg ugh fucking confused